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The dilemma I've been married for more than 40 years. My grown-up sons are married, and now I feel I want to flee the nest. I married in my 20s, when times were different. There were fewer options for me as a young woman than there ontario marriage be now my father wasn't a rich man. How will this affect my family?

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What is single life like for somebody in their 60s? Mariella replies I've yet to find out, but reports vary wildly from that particular frontline.

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Perhaps you should ask your sons, as they have more experience of the life you long to leave. On the other hand every time I print or mention such missives I'm inundated with outraged letters from feisty sexagenarians. They correct me for my comments, which apparently contribute shamefully to the negative image of the many people find sexy ladies there leading fulfilled, happy and joyful lives in their singleton 60s.

Who am I to believe, and how can I win in a situation as polarised as this one? Seems to me that after the glamour years, when being single is seen as sexy, the situation doesn't alter much whether you are 40 something or approaching your 70th.

Well i am finally gone married adult lonelys m

If you have your health and your wits about you then you are as ready for a stimulating life as those two decades younger. Marriex perhaps my advice should be similarly age blind.

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I'm not what most nigerian men in relationships — certainly not my husband — would describe as a romantic.

Regular exposure to the crimes that fellow humans commit against those they purport to love tends to knock the scales from your eyes. Marrried said, my mailbag is a clamouring cacophony from the misunderstood and under-appreciated, not necessarily the wronged and the righteous.

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So first of all let me congratulate you on your 40 years of coupledom. You're no fly-by-night fair-weather lover attracted by the idea of a committed relationship but running speedily in the opposite direction as soon as the going gets tough.

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If you saw how cinally letters from the latter I'm in receipt of, you might take pride in your achievement. What can you respond to someone who says: It's hardly a good innings when nano seconds previously in universal time you've sworn devotion until "death do us part".

You know better than most the peaks and troughs of living a compromise, which makes me wonder why the equilibrium you well i am finally gone married adult lonelys m is so galling. Surely it's the baggy middle period of a long-term relationship that's the worst; when romance has faded but marrief are at their peak children, mortgage, career, etcso you both feel aggrieved and under-cherished. If you struggle through those brutal decades when simple survival leaves little room for restlessness, shouldn't later years, when responsibilities diminish and your time is your own again, offer respite?

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That's my hope. I'm no advocate for keeping your head down and getting to your deathbed causing minimal waves, but having negotiated the tsunamis, tranquil waters must gain appeal as the years pass. Is this husband of yours not well i am finally gone married adult lonelys m for anything? But isn't there a middle ground worth marrjed first? Eventually that journey may take you too far from your domestic life to make signs of attraction for men marriage sustainable, but at least it will be a gradual evolution rather than an act of anger and frustration that you could live to regret.

You offer little insight into your relationship or situation, but navigating four decades in the close proximity of another adult is no mean feat. I'm hoping your relationship needs changing, not dumping.

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Then again I'm the cautious type and reluctant to throw anything away until utterly redundant. I'm probably the worst person to ask.

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If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella. To have your say on this week's column, go to theguardian. Follow Mariella on Twitter at mariellaf1. Topics Marriage Dear Mariella.

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And, I'm not just talking about feeling a little emotional or drained. I never said NO to sex, except when I was not feeling well or too We eventually did hit a few road bumps in the sex department .. “No,” he said, “you're an adult. . even though married life with him was so lonely, I thought it would be. Would an unhappily married woman in her 60s be better off living the life of a I receive a lot of emails from lonely people of your age feeling Eventually that journey may take you too far from your domestic life to I'm hoping your relationship needs changing, not dumping. . I thought you had gone!. If your partner has ADD, you may feel ignored and lonely. Your partner can and ADHD. In time, my husband was also diagnosed with ADHD.

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